Triggered Rhythm and Rhyme

Sing with me, sing for the year

Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

Sing with me, just for today

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.

- Eminem "Sing for Today'

Eminem shouting in my ears, clouds are passing my window and today is just another day for me and the universe. People who know me, the ones who see my bubble, charm, and the cheeky grin. They would never guess that some moments all I want to do is pack away my thoughts and chose not to feel. So I'll plug in my headphones and let the beat of somebody else's pain take me away.


Music is the language my soul speaks and not everyone speaks the same language. Thats okay with me. I don't need to play the picture of me you have in your head. I just need to keep breathing. An in and out steady rhythm of this is who I am, check the rational against the irrational.

I'm addicted to music and I might be overdosing. I can't play music and write anymore. These beats you read, come out all on their own. Shaking and scared they won't be seen, they won't be heard, or worse they'll be misunderstood. Writing is a terrifying high. I've been stuck with an IV of pure sound and every time the music plays it starts gift wrapping my thoughts into nice little parcels for some other time. Music takes it away. Writing gives it a home.

So I suggest, when looking for ways to function in the real world. When thoughts become overwhelming, demanding, never ending creatures. Stop for a moment. Take just one moment, one song and listen. Just listen to the words or the beat, the melody and let it wash over you. As it takes it away. As it grounds you into somebody else's dream.

You are not alone in universe,

when you let the universe sing to you.

As for me? I've been triggered. The real world has been putting me on high alert. Friday had a morning spent manic, an afternoon spent on edge, a flatmate too pretty for my tears and an evening spinning and sinking. Tears lurk around every corner. Saturday I took a few steps back and felt slight tugs on my strings but mostly tuned out the world. Sunday morning not slept, rocking out in my bed room. Listing to other peoples emotions.

Love me anyway?

Like I love you?