Fat Camp didn't fix me.
The problem I see with getting healthy, being fit, slimming down, is that you have to want it.
Want it so bad it burns and you get motivated and you pump it up. Want it like you want the last piece of cake, kind of want.
I don't want it. Not really. I keep talking about how one day I'll wake up and really want to be slim and healthy but clearly I don't. If I did I would already be on my way. Not sleeping, over eating, self loathing over my body and how it's 'falling a part' all clear signs saying I don't want this enough to fight for it.
My life is spiraling out of my grasp. I'm losing focus, and it's all so easy to be little girl lost, to eat away the emptiness, to spend the night awake fear of dreaming dreams that wont come true.
This is my space to be honest, accountable on the new journey I'm taking.
To start with;
Step One.
- Start Small!
Step Two.
- Be accountable but not judgemental about my food intake.
Step Three.
- 15 min of cardio twice a week.
Step Four.
- For Lent cut down on dairy and startch intake - Think of the Easter Bunny!
* Edit - I still don't want it. I bet I've gained weight since this post, an you know what? That's okay with me.
