Day 28

Today's mindfulness is inspired by my craving for: "awesome crepes, grape soda & ginger beer (mixed)." I find cravings challenging and it's harder for me to practice mindfulness when I have one. My tendency is either to go out and get whatever I'm craving or I ended up eating mindlessly everything else around me. I often find if I let myself get whatever 'fix' I need, I'm less likely to over eat or start bingeing. 

This isn't always the case and since I currently don't have away to get my 'fix' of any of the things I'm craving I thought I'd try something else to ease my gut-wrenching need. I went to the fridge and grabbed my trusty, shiny, red water bottle. Just the coolness was enough to start taking the edge off. I spent a few moments just observing the bottle in my hand, and then a few minutes describing the bottle and accompanying body sensations. When I felt grounded I opened the bottle, one mindfully, and started to drink the water. It was a refreshing experiences that has left me feeling very grounded. When I have a kick of the craving I take another slow, long drink of water. An when I finish this update I'm going to make myself a healthy and tasty dinner. 

Today's Mindfulness (Day 28 ~ 31 Days of Mindfulness) 

 Get yourself a drink of water. If you can pour the water into an interesting glass or mug. Spend a few minutes observing* and describing** the water and your glass. Pay attention to body sensations. When your ready slowly drink your water. Pause between sips to notice and observe the journey of the water from your glass, to your lips, and down your throat. 

If you don't enjoy the taste of water, I recommend this post from Helen Terry. She offers some helpful suggestions to make water more tasty and talks about the benefits of staying hydrated are. You can combine making your drink with this mindfulness.  

DBT Definitions

*Observing is sensing or experiencing without describing or labeling the experience.  It is noticing or attending to something.  The benefit of this practice is that the mind becomes quiet.  Eventually, you will be able to observe things without a running commentary of a talkative mind.  Preoccupation, rumination, distraction, and daydreaming are all examples of a talkative mind.   

**Describing is using words to represent what you observe.  Observing is just noticing and attending; there are no words. Describing is a reaction to observing; it is labeling what is observed.  Such acknowledgement is an expressed recognition of your experience. Describing is using words to represent what you observe.  Describing is “just the facts.”  Judging is labeling something in an evaluative way. 

You can read more about DBT What Skills here. 

One Mindfully

What is Mindfulness? 

Mindfulness has to do with the quality of awareness that we bring to what we are doing and experiencing, to being in the here and now.  It has to do with learning to focus on being in the present, to focusing our attention on what we are doing and what is happening in the present. We have to learn to control our attention. Many of us are distracted by images, thoughts and feelings of the past, perhaps dissociating, worrying about the future, negative moods and anxieties about the present.   It's hard to put these thing away and concentrate on the task at hand.

What is One-Mindfully? 

One-mindfulness skill is an effort to help us focus our attention on the here and now, to be able to absorb the information and take part in the present. It requires lots of practice and willingness to learn. Be patient with yourself.

Don't Know

I don't know how to be here. I don't know how to sit with you. To whisper the dark, bloody secrets. Bile floods my brain and I'm left wondering why I am so very insane. Maybe when I figure out how to stop running away from myself I'll know how to be here for you.

Talking about talking

I don't know what to give you. I'm not sure how to plug in and tug up all the bile, thoughts, truths and realities of the last few weeks. Life has been spinning as it's want to do. There have been moments of lovely, road blocks, missing trains, sledge hammers of crazy, good, bad and ugly. All mixed in with summer heat, trying to stay on my feet, and yes starting DBT. 

It amazes me to see Borderline grow. I want to share the map, tell the tales. I feel like I'm skipping out, holding back and just running away.  I plan to make a scheduled over the next few days for when I'll be posting up dates. 

Currently planned post are: 

• 350 Pounds of Fun (or My Body, My Way)
• The World Outside My Bedroom (or Fields of Green) 
• Dates for One (or Maybe/Sometimes Happy) 
• DBT + Therapy: Including homework, the diary card and other twisted things. 
• After Math (or scraps of paper that still linger in my backpack) 
• Leveling up: Finishing at NAIT and plans for the future. 
• Book Reviews on (in no order)

The Angry Heart

Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-help Guide

By Santoro, Joseph

Borderline Personality Disorder

The Facts By Krawitz, Roy

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide

Everything You Need to Know about Living with BPD By Chapman, Alexander L. 

 

Don't Let your Emotions Run your Life

How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control By Spradlin, Scott E.

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder

A Family Guide for Healing and Change By Porr, Valerie

Siren's Dance

My Marriage to A Borderline : A Case Study By Walker, Anthony

Sometimes I Act Crazy

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder By Kreisman, Jerold J.

Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies

By Elliott, Charles H.

The Buddha & the Borderline

My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, & Online Dating By Van Gelder, Kiera

I Hate You-- Don't Leave Me

By Kreisman, Jerold J. 

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook 

By McKay, Matthew  

Thank you for being here, for reading, for loving me anyway. It's not easy, but I am glad to be taking this walk. If you have a topic you'd like me to discus in an upcoming post, a book for me to review or any other suggestions or comment please share them.