Dream Me Away

Maybe tomorrow I'll go dancing in the streets.  Having dreams are scary. I've been tipping the deck. If I look down all I see is me, in pieces. If my veins were zippers I'd slip off my skin. I miss drinking in tomorrow from someone else's lips.

I should be piecing myself together, but lately I lay in the yellow bed waiting to be ripped apart. I stare at myself in the mirror. Paint my face awake and wonder if I'll do or die. I stand in the kitchen and feel the room spinning, edging me to start cliff jumping.

Playing other people leaves me drunk on a haze I can't figure out how to shift. It feels like my friends are drifting. I keep shattering. I just want to be done, but dreams are scary. If someone came to me tomorrow and promised that it could all be blown away, I'm not sure what I'd say. Dreams are scary. Bloody lips are so inviting. Teeth marks such a promise.

Best friend in so many ways always meant you, never really meant me.

If I could be born again I'd want to be a firefly.

The ocean might always remind me of death.

Slushies are better then you, they don't cut. I'm always finding ways to drown. I promise mum I'll learn to fly before you die. Dreams are scary, but I've got a hope chest and I've got the sky and one day I'm going to be an awesome grown up. One day I'll know wellness and wellness will know me.

For today I'm doing my best.  My best still wants you to love me anyway.

-K