Tell me a story.

....and I'll love you forever.

Stories have this way of capturing me. They always have. I wrap myself in the images of a life that is not mine, in places unlike the one I am in and for moments I am set free. So often I turn to this blog in anger, pain, frustration, a sense of lost. It's true I plan the most convenient time to die at least once a week. I hate the thought of being to far away from home just in case the world becomes to much. Gremlins you see are a horrible problem in Alberta. I hide from the world but more importantly, or more pathetically I hide from myself.

The big bad has locked me under the kitchen sink and is playing the role of Katrine without me. Thankfully this is only true some of the time. At times a glimmer of Katrine peers out from under the drain. The sun has been coming up slowly for the last hour. I had a wisp of a thought, I wanted to go daydream outside. I thought it would be a perfect place to nap for a few hours. What would the neighborers think? Oh dear me, what would Mr. D think? I doubt he'd notice since his morning rush is just that a rush. Yet, if he did catch a glimpse of me curled up next to the fence I doubt he'd be impressed. However that isn't the point. The point is I had a silly, dreamy idea and it made me smile. It made a little story.

A woman once spent a year cooking and blogging about it. She told the world a story and I fell in love. On the way I think she found her ground, her story and I think some of her heart. I am going to give myself a year. A year to expand this map. To commit to doing three things each day that make me a little less crazy. I'll be sharing about them here, hopefully they wont get lost in my 'letters', the rants, or the lost little girl hiding under the kitchen sink.

Last night while sitting in the corner of a booth full of wonderful woman, laughing talking about life, boobs and sharing stories that transcend all our ages I felt lost at times, deeply sad, wistful. Crazy had been building since Monday night. Yet I put these women together last night. These fantastic, inspiring, funny, witty women. We drank multiple cups of chai tea and I felt. Dear Katrine, I felt. Doesn't matter what I felt. Just that I felt safe enough to do so.

So on July 15 2010 the three things I did to help find Katrine were;

1. Took a new bus route, and enjoyed the scenery. 

2. Had "Dinner with Darling Women."

3. Let my mum love me, even when it got hard.

I love you, anyway. Thank you for reading. Welcome to my New Year.

With a grin, a dash of hope and the small wondrous feeling of growing joy.